Are you doing something wrong? Or is something not going quite right? Then you'll hear about it soon enough. But when something is going really well, you will undoubtedly hear fewer people about it. Why? Many have no idea what a compliment can do to someone. Yet people are looking for recognition. Gwen van Zaane and Bibi Smink know this all too well. 12 years ago they started "Compliments Girls," which turned out to be a great success. We spoke to them about giving compliments.
It all started 12 years ago. "We were trained as artists at Willem de Kooning in Rotterdam and worked together from then on. Sometimes it was applied art, sometimes mainly on laughter. With New Year's Eve 12 years ago, we wrote our first compliments to guests of The Galaxy. That brought depth and tasted like more." Meanwhile, Gwen and Bibi have long since ceased to be alone. Together with 21 young female ZZP-ers they make work of giving compliments, literally that is. "We believe that by expressing appreciation and admiration, a great gift is given: the recipient becomes more powerful and develops a great appreciation towards himself. Increased self-confidence allows you to grow even more as a person, become more resilient and handle adversity more resiliently. In addition, we believe that a satisfied and more fulfilled person is able to be more loving in life. The latter extends beyond one's own circle, resonating throughout a society."
Gwen and Bibi talk about researcher Dr. Norihiro Sadato. Led by the National Institute for Physiological Sciences, he and his team discovered that a certain part within your brain (we'll spare you the scientific terms) is activated when we receive a compliment. This part of the brain is involved in controlling movements and some cognitive and emotional functions. The study found that when this part is activated, the person is encouraged to perform better. Gwen and Bibi explain further, "According to Dr. Sadato, receiving a compliment is even the same social reward as receiving a reward in the form of money. The amount of dopamine, a chemical reward substance, increases, which makes us feel good. Also, that chemical enhances our memory." So it has indeed been proven that compliments contribute to personal growth.
But where does all this come from? By nature, we like to receive recognition. And especially with future generations, this is becoming increasingly important. A compliment from a colleague who has seen what you can do is a huge motivator. "A token of appreciation is enormously valuable and has a great effect. In today's society, we Dutch are very strict with ourselves, set the bar high and have high expectations. Giving a compliment is a moment of peace, gratitude and recognition. As far as we are concerned, indispensable!" tell Bibi and Gwen. So it's really not strange that people react differently. "Some thank us exuberantly on the spot with hugs and kisses and let everyone read it, the other blushes shyly or gives a cautious wink. And of course it sometimes happens that someone fills up with it, that is not a bad thing, that is beautiful and can be there. The other day we had a lady we couldn't quite pinpoint. The compliment was quickly put away, but a few days later she managed to find us via email. She thanked us and said it gave insight into how much it had touched her and how happy she was with it."
Gwen and Bibi conclude with two valuable tips: "The best way to give a compliment is to be very observant and really look at who is in front of you. Open your senses, be sincere and specific. When it comes to receiving compliments, it is important not to refute or downplay it, but to accept it and say thank you."
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